Dedicated to everyone who wonders if I'm writing about them. I do.

Sunday, 30 November 2014

Love story part 1

Let's be honest.

I think I'm in love. What? I know macam over gila tiba tiba dah lama tak update blog tapi tiba cakap dah in love. Actually, I like this one guy, he's a friend of mine. Not that close friend yang you can share everything ke apa ke, just a normal guy friend. In fact I haven't met him since years pun. He's a good man I think but of course love is not easy especially as a lady you have pride and ego that you have to maintain. I can't just go out there and out of nowhere "Hey you I think I like you" lepas tu blah macam tu sambil tutup muka. Not that simple. I won't do that, not in a million years even if you pay me. I don't know whether he likes me or not hmm ehem I mean I don't even know whether he aware that I exist. Last few days, I had a dream, a very weird dream. In this dream, I macam like engaged to him and the worst part is because I was too excited that my 'so called fiancee' is that guy I was terjatuh yang macam sujud tu in front of so many people kot. Luckily it was a dream, but hmm it was a good dream by the way. But then not that I believe in such dream but I was happy tapi yelah mimpi jer pun it was just mainan tidur and a wise man should not believe in dreams kan. So be wise, liyana. It was just mainan syaitonnnn.

Personally I don't know whether this is love or just a pure temporary admiration that I usually have on guys. For the time being I'll just pray for the best and I hope that if he's really the right guy for me Allah will find his way to unite us. Cehh ayat geli ahh kau cakap macam ni ewwww. Tapi tu lah, I know that my Lord might have better plans for me, better guy maybe.

"If it's destined for you, never in a million years will it be for somebody else".

Clue: He's not a law student jeng jeng

Wednesday, 22 October 2014


Nak cakap something ni,

Honestly speaking, kita semua ada setan dalam diri kita. No offense, tapi aku rasa inside each and every one of us there's some kind of evil. And setan tu tak semestinya dalam bentuk the real setan yang selama ni kita duk imagine dalam kepala (bertanduk, warna hitam merah or etc), boleh jadi setan yang ada dalam diri kita ni just dalam bentuk spirit atau dalam bahasa mudahnya, dalam bentuk imaginasi/unreal macam nafsu, kata hati yang jahat, perasaan tak baik, hasad dengki dan sebagainya. Alaa, semua orang ada evil dalam diri masing-masing tak perlu nak bagitau semua orang yang kau tu jahat dan pada masa yang sama tak perlu lah kot nak sembunyikan kejahatan tu dan berlagak macam malaikat sebab memang secara fitrahnya kita semua sama. Cuma mungkin tahap evil dalam diri masing masing dapat dikurangkan atau mungkin  lebih depends on cara kau handle it and kita semua tahu cara paling efektif nak menangani this evil inside us is by iman and taqwa.

Contoh macam ada kawan kau dapat pointer 4 flat padahal kau rasa dia bukannya pandai sangat pun, kadang-kadang kau lagi hebat jer pun haha. Kira dengki la ni. Kalau kau tak tangani rasa dengki kau tu mungkin kau akan buat benda benda bodoh macam pergi sebar fitnah cakap dia meniru dalam exam, conteng nota dia atau kau akan kacau dia study dengan buat bising macam monyet dalam hutan which is aku rasa sangat lah mentality budak empat tahun. Tapi kalau kau tahu the right way to handle the evil, the jealousy, kau akan tahu yang semua benda tu takde faedah pun. So cara positif tak nak bagi dengki ni kau pergi lah study sekali join study group ke apa ke, work hard sama-sama. Baru betul.

Macam nafsu nak membeli yang semakin membuak-buak padahal you don't need that.

Sebenarnya, semua benda dalam dunia ni ada penyelesaian.Tapi yelah, betul jugak kawan aku cakap kalau semua orang atas dunia ni baik and boleh control diri masing masing tak jadi lah isu-isu macam ni, semua orang hidup aman dan tenang. Kalau semua orang tahu macam mana nak handle dia punya evil, dia takkan commit benda-benda yang tak baik. Tapi takpelah kita ni yang masih ada iman (walaupun sikit gila), kita control diri kita dan kita doakan orang lain tu sama sama tuhan jaga dia supaya tiap kali dia nak buat jahat dititipkan hidayah sedikit demi sedikit. Tak mustahil, Allah tu Maha Penyayang. Aku percaya dia takkan biarkan umat dia sesat.

So tu je lah kot, I'll make it clear that I ain't even trying to preach you guys, just a little reminder untuk diri sendiri jugak.Bye.


Helloooo, aku boring and at the same time aku takde 'ghesa' lagi nak menulis panjang lebar.
Mungkin nanti, esok lusa.
Tak janji.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

A pep talk?

Have you ever feel disappointed with yourself? Especially when you failed to achieve something which you thought can be done.

Don't worry because you're not alone hehe. I wish I am a good advisor for myself. I mean personally it's quite easy to ease people and to give advices on their problems but when it comes to my own, hmmm I can't do anything right and most of the time I'll end up feeling extremely sad and disappointed. I know lame giloss but what to do I'm bad in handling pressure and failures.

At certain point I think we need to learn to forgive ourselves on things we cannot do and start to accept the fact that we are all humans, we have advantages and limitations. Of course there'll be things that we're good at and vice versa. We cannot expect ourselves to be perfect all the time kan. So just chill lah, do your best and if you still fail just remember that maybe that is not your thing, maybe I was meant for other areas (positive thinking). There are a lot of other things to treasure and the sky is the only limit remember? 

Back then I used to be so furious and angry when I failed to do something which I thought I should be doing. I had high expectations so when I failed to achieve that, yeah I ended up beating myself up. Being too confident with yourself is sometimes a mistake or a trap that we all do. I learn that no matter what, success will not occur just because you have the idea inside your head and passion inside your heart. There are a lot of other things to consider. These days I expect less in almost anything even on the simplest thing so that I don't errr I don't know so that I don't cry much? Err.

Personally I think that one of the reasons why we're so afraid of failing is because we are afraid of not being able to catch up with the world. The culture we're living is so now where we don't appreciate people for their hard work or efforts, we just want to see the outcome or the success. In other words, no matter how much efforts you have put in lightning the bulb people don't care about that, they just want to see whether you'll succeed or not and that's is the 'kayu ukur' for you. For me yeah I am afraid of being left behind and I think I have fear of being invisible, I mean those days I used to think that if I don't get an A for this people will look down on me or if I don't achieve my goals by the time I'm 30 then all the doors are closed and etc. The idea that you have to achieve something in order to make people see who you are is suffocating because you have to keep competing, fighting most of time like there'll be no 'peace-phase'. It's a lonely battle between remembering and forgetting.

So again back to our most basic point, one thing that I can conclude is success is very subjective. The definition of it varies depends on who's talking I mean some people consider success as getting all straight As in exams while some people might believe that passing all the papers is enough of a bless. So yeah you decide on what really matters. My advice is in life you'll go through failures, that's fine. There'll be at least one time where you'll call yourself stupid (even though I did this all the time), going to regret the choices you made, there'll be time where you wonder what the hell you're doing  but believe me that's not the end of everything. That's just a start. And one simple reminder if you haven't gone through a failure yet, don't worry your time will come baby so be prepared muehehehe (gelak jahat). Hope you are inspired, if not thennn I don't care. 

That's all, done.I should be studying equity and trust, bye.

Told you, it's impossible not to love her :)

Saturday, 20 September 2014

New world: Fresh start

Assalamualaikum and hi,

Oh my god, I really miss writing and blogging so much. And I'm starting a new blog so yeah I am a little excited about this plus it has been years since I last wrote about anything I mean blogging to be specific. I was busy and lazy.

So why am I starting a new one? Well basically there are a lot of reasons to it but one of the strongest reason is probably because I want to start a new book. I really love the but I guess the blog is too old. I started when I was 15 and yeah right now I'm 20. It has a lot of memories and secrets of my life, almost like a diary. Well you can call it a diary because when I was in highschool, I used to write everyday about everything even though I didn't have anything to share. I just love to log in and merapu sesuka hati and then publish. That's why I have about 500 posts walaupun almost half of them tak tahu pasal apa and mengarut. Language tak payah cakap lah, combination of bm, english, bahasa rempitzz and bahasa alien lol. Back then, I used to be a very consistent and active blogger, very active actually but it started to change by the time I entered university life. Life in university is a little different, I have a lot to share about my current activities, life, friends and etcbut I don't have the the to write about everything. We have tests around the corner, assignments and presentations, so tiring. By the time I finish everything and manage to have seciput masa untuk diri sendiri then I'll be too tired to write. In the end, I don't write at all.

I think I started to develop the idea of keeping the blog private when I was 18 or something because I don't know it's shameful. I mean it's okay if people read the current posts but if you scroll through the older entries oh my god oh my god. Yelah, I was 14 or 15 back then. What do you expect from a 15 year old girl? Of course my entries are not going to be educational kan sebab I was young. To be honest, I really cherished the entries because they are my memories, my life. Besides I am happy that at least I won't forget what happened or when and each time I missed my young me, I can always look back and gelak sorang sorang. For me that is happiness. But of course everything  must come to an end cehh. I realized that maybe it will be better if I am the only one knowing the secrets hmm maybe. You know not everything should be shared kan. So that's why I'm starting this new blog even though I tak tau lagi macam mana the flow will be or how long this will last. I cannot promise you that I will write educational, positive, life lesson entries everyday but insya Allah I will try my very best to share with you what I know okay? Alright.

Hehehe, bye.

The girl in the purple scarf is my best friend, Tikah. We went to Langkawi Island during the semester break this August. Miss the place, the food :)