Dedicated to everyone who wonders if I'm writing about them. I do.

Wednesday, 22 October 2014


Nak cakap something ni,

Honestly speaking, kita semua ada setan dalam diri kita. No offense, tapi aku rasa inside each and every one of us there's some kind of evil. And setan tu tak semestinya dalam bentuk the real setan yang selama ni kita duk imagine dalam kepala (bertanduk, warna hitam merah or etc), boleh jadi setan yang ada dalam diri kita ni just dalam bentuk spirit atau dalam bahasa mudahnya, dalam bentuk imaginasi/unreal macam nafsu, kata hati yang jahat, perasaan tak baik, hasad dengki dan sebagainya. Alaa, semua orang ada evil dalam diri masing-masing tak perlu nak bagitau semua orang yang kau tu jahat dan pada masa yang sama tak perlu lah kot nak sembunyikan kejahatan tu dan berlagak macam malaikat sebab memang secara fitrahnya kita semua sama. Cuma mungkin tahap evil dalam diri masing masing dapat dikurangkan atau mungkin  lebih depends on cara kau handle it and kita semua tahu cara paling efektif nak menangani this evil inside us is by iman and taqwa.

Contoh macam ada kawan kau dapat pointer 4 flat padahal kau rasa dia bukannya pandai sangat pun, kadang-kadang kau lagi hebat jer pun haha. Kira dengki la ni. Kalau kau tak tangani rasa dengki kau tu mungkin kau akan buat benda benda bodoh macam pergi sebar fitnah cakap dia meniru dalam exam, conteng nota dia atau kau akan kacau dia study dengan buat bising macam monyet dalam hutan which is aku rasa sangat lah mentality budak empat tahun. Tapi kalau kau tahu the right way to handle the evil, the jealousy, kau akan tahu yang semua benda tu takde faedah pun. So cara positif tak nak bagi dengki ni kau pergi lah study sekali join study group ke apa ke, work hard sama-sama. Baru betul.

Macam nafsu nak membeli yang semakin membuak-buak padahal you don't need that.

Sebenarnya, semua benda dalam dunia ni ada penyelesaian.Tapi yelah, betul jugak kawan aku cakap kalau semua orang atas dunia ni baik and boleh control diri masing masing tak jadi lah isu-isu macam ni, semua orang hidup aman dan tenang. Kalau semua orang tahu macam mana nak handle dia punya evil, dia takkan commit benda-benda yang tak baik. Tapi takpelah kita ni yang masih ada iman (walaupun sikit gila), kita control diri kita dan kita doakan orang lain tu sama sama tuhan jaga dia supaya tiap kali dia nak buat jahat dititipkan hidayah sedikit demi sedikit. Tak mustahil, Allah tu Maha Penyayang. Aku percaya dia takkan biarkan umat dia sesat.

So tu je lah kot, I'll make it clear that I ain't even trying to preach you guys, just a little reminder untuk diri sendiri jugak.Bye.


Helloooo, aku boring and at the same time aku takde 'ghesa' lagi nak menulis panjang lebar.
Mungkin nanti, esok lusa.
Tak janji.

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

A pep talk?

Have you ever feel disappointed with yourself? Especially when you failed to achieve something which you thought can be done.

Don't worry because you're not alone hehe. I wish I am a good advisor for myself. I mean personally it's quite easy to ease people and to give advices on their problems but when it comes to my own, hmmm I can't do anything right and most of the time I'll end up feeling extremely sad and disappointed. I know lame giloss but what to do I'm bad in handling pressure and failures.

At certain point I think we need to learn to forgive ourselves on things we cannot do and start to accept the fact that we are all humans, we have advantages and limitations. Of course there'll be things that we're good at and vice versa. We cannot expect ourselves to be perfect all the time kan. So just chill lah, do your best and if you still fail just remember that maybe that is not your thing, maybe I was meant for other areas (positive thinking). There are a lot of other things to treasure and the sky is the only limit remember? 

Back then I used to be so furious and angry when I failed to do something which I thought I should be doing. I had high expectations so when I failed to achieve that, yeah I ended up beating myself up. Being too confident with yourself is sometimes a mistake or a trap that we all do. I learn that no matter what, success will not occur just because you have the idea inside your head and passion inside your heart. There are a lot of other things to consider. These days I expect less in almost anything even on the simplest thing so that I don't errr I don't know so that I don't cry much? Err.

Personally I think that one of the reasons why we're so afraid of failing is because we are afraid of not being able to catch up with the world. The culture we're living is so now where we don't appreciate people for their hard work or efforts, we just want to see the outcome or the success. In other words, no matter how much efforts you have put in lightning the bulb people don't care about that, they just want to see whether you'll succeed or not and that's is the 'kayu ukur' for you. For me yeah I am afraid of being left behind and I think I have fear of being invisible, I mean those days I used to think that if I don't get an A for this people will look down on me or if I don't achieve my goals by the time I'm 30 then all the doors are closed and etc. The idea that you have to achieve something in order to make people see who you are is suffocating because you have to keep competing, fighting most of time like there'll be no 'peace-phase'. It's a lonely battle between remembering and forgetting.

So again back to our most basic point, one thing that I can conclude is success is very subjective. The definition of it varies depends on who's talking I mean some people consider success as getting all straight As in exams while some people might believe that passing all the papers is enough of a bless. So yeah you decide on what really matters. My advice is in life you'll go through failures, that's fine. There'll be at least one time where you'll call yourself stupid (even though I did this all the time), going to regret the choices you made, there'll be time where you wonder what the hell you're doing  but believe me that's not the end of everything. That's just a start. And one simple reminder if you haven't gone through a failure yet, don't worry your time will come baby so be prepared muehehehe (gelak jahat). Hope you are inspired, if not thennn I don't care. 

That's all, done.I should be studying equity and trust, bye.

Told you, it's impossible not to love her :)