Dedicated to everyone who wonders if I'm writing about them. I do.

Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Got a problem?

I had a conversation with one of my aunties, and unconsciously we spent about few hours sharing stories about our lives and experiences. I would consider that as an eye opener because I'm already  in my early 20s and to be honest there's so many things that I don't know about life, so to have someone sharing their past experiences with me is such a blessing.

One thing that I can inferred or conclude from our conversation is that as humans, we will always have complex and problems, its just depends on how we handle them that makes us different. Kids have their own problems, teenagers have their own worries, even we adults have our own struggles. Sometimes, problems come to us even before we have our own breakfast, sometimes it started before we even get off the bed. So if we live our live expecting that one day we'll reach a state of nirvana with zero problem, then we're just lying to ourselves. We all know the truth. We'll always going through something that is hard, harsh, we always being tested with something and we'll always feel stress about something. Teenagers might have problems to cope with their parents, cope with their never ending homework. I'm a college student, my biggest suffering in my opinion is to fulfill the high expectation that people put up on me and the challenge of money that's never going to be enough. Then I'm sure once I start working, I'll develop more and more stress (work stress, family issues and etc). So the thing is, its not going to end. 

Once we solve a problem, then another problem comes in. Its like a battle with no end. I used to think things like 'I'm going to finish my college degree fast so that I can work, make money then I don't have to think about money'. Yeah I might not have money issues anymore once I start working, but I might develop new issues for example too much workload, problems with my boss and etc. 

So how do we handle this?

My aunt told me the best way to handle this issue is not to think of them as problems, and focus on living your life. Plus she emphasized on the importance of not being 'too freak out' when we have problems. I mean yeah sometimes the issue is quite simple but we love to overthink ourselves and as a result they turn out to be greater issues. I get that a lot because I'm a little perfectionist (sikit jer) when it comes to certain things, then when I suddenly have problems I'll usually freak myself out and being vain and crazy you name it. I should have focus on how to solve the issue instead of being carried away with it right? Will try to practice that later.

I realize that as much efforts was spent on worrying about them, the less time I actually spent on solving the issue. Remember, when you have some problems, they won't fade away unless you solve it. You can run away from the problem but its not going to last long. So focus on the living, focus on how to solve them. Then proudly walks away from it.

Even a 3 year old kid worries about the little things. So its not a big problem to have a problem, its normal. Everyone is struggling, they just don't show it.


Thank God.

Thursday, 3 March 2016


I don't know how many times I had write, delete and rewrite things here today. I don't know what's wrong with me. Did I lose my penmanship my ability to write or what? This is kind of annoying because I know that there's so many things to share, so many issues I'd pent up inside of me but I just can't find the right words, the right arrangements, the right way to express them up. I'm having conflicts with myself, one of my friend, I'm done with a guy I thought is the right one for me. Too many stressful stories but I'm just not in the right mood to share everything. 

Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.