Dedicated to everyone who wonders if I'm writing about them. I do.

Sunday, 12 February 2017

My Law School Experience (UiTM) : Why do you choose law?

Guys I think it's time, yup this is it. I think this is the best time for me to share with you guys my experience in law school, what I've been through the last four years in this course, how I feel about doing law and other important stuffs that in my opinion, might be beneficial to you people especially if you're in your first semester and you'd just entered law school or maybe you had not yet entered into one but you're really interested to do law. Actually I received a lot emails from you guys asking about my experience doing law especially from the high school graduates who're interested to be in this course, I did reply to some of you guys. However, I'm really sorry that lately I did not respond much because I have a lot of stuffs to do which require most of my attention and I can't find enough spare time to actually sit and reply to each and every one of you asking, but I hope by this post I can clear up if not all, at least some of the questions regarding law school, whether studying law is easy and etc. 

First of all, I would like to make a disclaimer that what I'm going to share with you guys are my experiences and my opinions as a law student per se and of course everyone experience it differently so what I write here might be different with what you'd heard before, or what you'd experienced. It's very possible to have clashes of opinions here and there, that is absolutely normal. Please take note that these are based on my experience of  being in this course particularly in UiTM, so yes if you're in other universities in Malaysia,or you're studying abroad, the things that I'm going to share might not be that applicable to you guys because we have to understand every university has its own way of dealing or managing things (apa aku mengarut ni?)

So I was thinking of making one entry only for this topic but the more I write, I figured out that it is so not possible because to do that because god bless, I can't summarize everything into one simple post (or maybe I can, but the message I'm trying to deliver might not be clear). Thus I think I'm going to write this part by part. Let's consider this the first part shall we? InsyaAllah I'm going to continue with more and more later (if I have time, or the will to do so :p)

The most frequent or staple question that I'd received from people around me as well as my readers is; why do you choose law? 

When I was doing my foundation, I got this question a lot. During ice breaking sessions (usually the first few weeks of classes), all the lecturers will asked you the same thing, why are you here? why do you choose to do law? what brings you here? 

To be honest, I grew tired of answering this question because imagine if you hear the same thing over and over again, you became loss and you're not sure what to respond to such question.  I remember in my first class when I was doing my foundation, my lecturer at that time asked each and every one of us to come to the front, state why do we choose to do law as well as to  introduce ourselves (name, where you're from, hobbies and etc) and that was the first time in my life, I wondered why do I choose this out of hundred of courses out there. I remember some of my classmates saying things like "I'm here because I'm not good at math, I'm not good in science, I'm not good in biology, chemistry so I thought maybe I should choose law", some of them claimed that they were not interested to do law but since they got the offer, their parents actually encouraged them to do it, some of them also claimed that law is their last option when they're applying for university and it turns out that they got their last option, lol. I think at that time, some of the answers were quite ridiculous ( I think I gave stupid and absurd answer as well, I think so).

Once I ended my foundation and started my degree, I thought that people will stop asking the question, hell no. People still asked the same thing, your friends will wonder why you're doing this course, your relatives will ask the similar question, your high school teachers will, the uncle sitting next to me while waiting for car wash asked the same thing, the people I met when I was ordering my food did, basically everyone you passed by will asked you the same basic question all the time. I'm in my final year now, InsyaAllah I'm going to graduate by August or September this year but I still get this question though. Thus, I think this question will basically haunt every law student, yup until we graduate. 

I used to neglect or just give a bypass answer when I was asked this question because I'd got it more than 100 times the last 5 years but the more I indulged myself and every time I move forward from one semester to another, I realized the significance of the question. You know when everything gets tough and there's so many things to catch up with limited time, when you thought you'd done your very best you studied more than 12 hours per day and you still got low marks in the test, when you're stressed out and feel like quieting law school, when suddenly you feel like you won't make it-- that's when, your reasons of being here matters. 

Why do you want to do law at the first place? If you're here to have fun and you thought doing law would give you fame and money, you're wrong. Not all lawyers become millionaires, some of them earned enough to have decent life but not like extremely rich or something like Bill gates, especially with our current economy I think we have to be realistic.  If you're here just because you watched legal movies or series such as The Suit or Legally Blonde and you thought it's cool, you're wrong. Being in law school is nothing like the movies make it looks like, or maybe 10 percent similarities and that's it. 

I wanted to become a lawyer or to do law since I was in primary school and yes I was mostly influenced by the movies or books I read about law students or lawyers. Before I enter law school, I thought being a lawyer means you fight  against injustice, you protect those need to be protected and that's it. It seems like a noble job but in the books I read a lot of people hate lawyers, I wondered why? Then I stepped into law school which opened up new perspectives of what this field actually looks like or what lawyers actually do. Also, once I'm here I was trained to think differently compared with the way I used to and honestly the reality is another different story. In law school (at least mine), you'll not be asked about Aristotle's philosophical theory in the first class like the movie Legally Blonde. In the end, we put so much efforts and study like crazy to get a B, not an A (or maybe you can get an A if you're smart :)

So, what I'm trying to say is if you want to be in law school, ask yourself whether you really want this?If you're not passionate with what you're doing i.e you're not sure whether you really want that degree, the chances of you making it is low. This is because I see average people but they really  really want to become a lawyer and they worked extra hard than others, they make it ( This goes along with my fav ever quote: Your efforts will never betray you). At the same time, I see smart people those who you know that they're good just by the way the portray themselves, the way they carry themselves, some of them get an straight A plus in their SPM but they didn't make it. One is of course, everything is part of God's plan (we can never deny this) but another thing is because they're not sure what they're doing and what they want.  

However if you're in law school now but you haven't figured out your purpose, don't worry. You will, of course  with your own efforts,  the right time will come and you'll figured out the answers you've been searching for. Believe me if you keep on working hard, you will. I'd figured out mine when I was in the middle of my degree as well, so yes I don't have it along the way since the beginning. I mean yes I want to do law since I was young but I don't have specific reasons why I'm interested to do it. I figured out my passion in the Jurisprudence class when I was in semester 4 or 5 I think. Since that day, everything in my life seems easier and I became less stressed and more happy with what I'm doing, like I'm enjoying everything to the fullest. If you haven't don't worry. You will, one day.

Usually when things get tough and challenging, it tested your perseverance and endurance. Most of the time, if you can endure the tough time (the moment where you have to juggle everything tests, presentations, assignments in limited time), you'll survive. I think many of us are in similar position as I do, I'm not a very smart or bright student, I'm just an average student. Sometimes I do well, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I feel like slapping myself in the face for being such a crackhead but I believe if you have endurance and you discipline yourself, you can do everything. That's how I survive law school. I keep telling myself to have faith in whatever I'm doing and always discipline with what you're doing.

If I have to be honest, for me the first two years of law school were the toughest. I know that the subjects were not as tough as you know if you're in your 3rd year or final year but I think probably when you're in first or second year, you're still young, you're thrown to a new environment, you're still in the process of knowing and developing yourself, you haven't discover the right or suitable mode of studying yet so that's when things get messy and you feel like you'd made a wrong choice. However, that is not true. I think if you can endure them, you'll be just fine. 

I think this is the end of my first ever experience-sharing post, I'm going to write more about this topic insyAllah if I have the time for that. I will try to make some time, hopefully. I was thinking of doing something like a vlog, a day as a law student kind of thing but I'm still in doubt about such idea because hahahaha some part of me totally oppose the idea because I think no one is ever going to watch it bla bla bla but another part of me encourage me to do it because who cares if people don't watch it, we 're not here to please people anyway.  I'm not sure whether I will make it, if possible I will but I have to consider a lot of stuffs so let's see about that yaa.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

Single-ness, still


Okay how am I supposed to begin this?

Actually, I'm actually quite a pessimistic kind of person, by that I mean I have very high expectations on certain things. Hmm maybe not anymore, I'm trying very hard to keep it low these days, mostly because I realized that we can't control everything, and even if we put so much efforts into something if it's not meant to be it will not be. Being a person with too much ambition was hard like "Just work fucking harder" but in the end you still can't make it because there's no joy anymore. Just a life full of stress and depression. I think the past few years, I tried very hard to change myself. And when you did so, the way you see the world is also going to change 180 degrees. As we gain a unique understanding of the situations we're in, the less negativity we allow to set in. I'm also trying very very hard to accept situations or people as they are and stop critizing them so much because hey nobody is ever perfect and before you criticize somebody else, keep in mind that you're also a piece of shit, like you do so many shitty things as well. So lower the standards and live your well, will ya?

Be easy, take your time. You're doing this right.